Archive | December, 2010

Why ‘You Complete Me’ is Bullshit and How I Learned to Complete Myself

It’s a common belief that there’s someone out there just for you, and when you find him or her, you’ll find the person that makes you whole. I held that belief my entire life, and I searched fruitlessly and desperately for years for someone who loved me as much as I loved them, who would […]

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Is Sexual Fidelity the Most Important Part of a Relationship? Thoughts on Non-monogamy

Recently a new sex partner asked for my advice on how to deal with three women he was “seeing,” each of whom was interested in having a monogamous relationship with him. Being as how we had just had “no strings attached” sex, I asked him if he was really able to handle truly being monogamous. […]

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No Fat Chicks: Navigating the Dating World as a Fat Girl

Thick, curvy, voluptuous—nah. I’m a proud fat Black chick with no hangups about my size, and I have the nerve to expect a romantic interest to be comfortable with it. I learned a long time ago that I needed to love myself before anyone else was going to love me, so I’m perfectly happy being […]

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The Case For Sex-Positivity

[This article originally appeared on Zora & Alice.] It’s high time we as Black people learn to collectively embrace a sex-positive worldview. What do I mean by sex-positive? Sex-positivity equals acceptance of differing sexual orientations, acceptance of varying gender identities and presentations, non-marginalization of sex acts that are consensual, and promotion of healthy sexuality. Sounds […]

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